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Click here for video of Randall climbing the Tennessee Wall near Chattanooga Topped
Out By Randall Crosby I took a big gulp since I knew
the next word would mean the point of no return. “Do or die”, I thought to myself. “Bad choice
of words”, I then thought. How about “Go for the gusto”, there that’s better. Then whether
I was ready or not (I wasn’t), the word came out of my mouth (a very dry mouth). “Climbing”, I said
as confidently as I could. “Climb on”, Chaz replied. That was it. I had to put my feet on the
base of the 90 foot rock wall and begin the vertical journey to the top. This moment had been the culmination of three years of loose planning
and many conversations and a few visits to the “On the Edge” rock climbing gym in Melbourne with my friend and
climbing mentor Chaz Wendling. Chaz introduced me to the sport about three years ago when he took me to the rock climbing
gym for the first time and showed me the basic technique of climbing a 35 foot rock wall. We went there several times
in the first two years but had gone very little in the past year so I wasn’t sure if I was ready for this adventure
to the Tennessee Wall near Chattanooga, TN for a climb on real rock. Chaz had come into my café at Kennedy Space Center a few
days earlier to say that he was going with his friend, Ed Hall, for a weekend of climbing and that I should come along.
Chaz said I was ready for it, so based on that, I decided to go. But now it seemed like a bad decision as I moved up
the first two feet of the ascent. I thought to myself, it’s time for a quick prayer, so I did and then I remembered
the bible verse that I had read the day before in an email from Joel Osteen, a nationally known evangelical pastor that I
receive a daily message from. Many times I find that Joel’s messages are inspirational and pertinent to the challenge
I’m currently facing and this had been the case this time as well. Joel had come through once again, it was titled
“The Power of Two”… “Two
are better than one… If one falls down, his friend can help him up” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10). Right on Joel.
I knew that Chaz would be there for me. I printed the message and kept it in the pocket of my climbing pants during
the entire trip just for some extra insurance. This verse and others have been a source of strength for me over these past two or three years of
coping with a world of total blindness. I tell people that being partially blind, as I had been for about twenty years,
is much different from being totally blind. Both are very challenging but also very different. Seeing bits and
pieces of stuff through blurred vision is better than seeing nothing at all, of course neither of these options is desirable.
Having experienced good sight, poor sight and having no sight at all I have learned that a person with perfectly good sight
can be disabled and a person with no sight can be very able bodied, it’s just a matter of attitude. The system is called a “top
rope” and it consists of a two hundred foot rope that is tied to my harness and then is taken up to the top of the climb
(90 feet) by the lead climber (that was Ed in this case) and then it is run through the top rings that are bolted to the rock
wall and then the rope is dropped down to the belay (that was Chaz) and he holds the rope and feeds it through his belay harness
and stacks it on the ground next to him as I go up. I totally trusted Chaz to keep me safe but what about every inch
of the two hundred foot rope and what about the rings at the top. Were they really secure enough? But I was climbing.
I was now about 15 feet up. Only 75 more feet to go. “Wonderful”, I thought to myself. Now I
found myself without an obvious hand-hold and my feet were struggling to hold on too, so it was time for a move. “Here
goes”. The move didn’t work, I slipped and fell totally free of the rock and was coming down. Chaz had
me tight on belay but the rope is dynamic, this means it’s slightly elastic so I experienced a few seconds of free fall.
But the system worked, I didn’t fall any further than expected. It was a relief to me after this fall because
I had experienced my worst fear, the fear of falling and I was safe and well. So I began climbing again and continued
up to about 30 feet. My legs and arms were burning already and I was feeling tired, breathing hard and sweat pouring
off me. I had just slipped off (peeled away, they call it) the rock for a second time and realized that it’s different
from the rock wall at the gym because your body slams into the real rock about ten times harder - the rock is unforgiving.
I knew I had
to get my feet onto a good hold and place both hands high above my head on good holds so that I could stretch and relax and
rest. Chaz had taught me that we can rest while hanging some thirty or more feet high on a wall of rock, crazy as that
may sound. So I relaxed and rested. Chaz yelled up some words of encouragement since he saw that I was struggling.
“Good job Randyman,” he yelled. He usually calls me “Randyman” or “Champ” and I
always smile or laugh when he does, it gives me a boost of confidence, which I needed especially at this most challenging
moment. As I rested my mind had random thoughts, I remembered last night’s dinner. We had left Rockledge
at about 5:00 p.m. planning to arrive at our campsite some ten hours later so at about 7:00 p.m. Ed told us that it’s
a tradition to stop at Crystals for burgers. Based on Ed’s recommendation we all ordered a meal called “The
Cheez-a-nater”, consisting of 5 Crystal-cheeseburgers and chili-cheese fries. This was a lot different from the
traditional pasta dinner consumed by runners the night before a meet. But when in Rome… I wondered if the “Cheez-a-Nater”
would get me through this climb. Ed
had set up a second top rope. He was about fifty feet up on the wall while I climbed so that he could offer both moral and
tactical support as needed. It was a good idea. “How far up there are you?” I yelled up. He
said he was about fifteen feet above me. He said that he was sitting on a ledge big enough for both of us to sit on
and relax so this gave me some motivation to reach him. I started climbing again, fighting for every move and every foot,
feeling my way along with my hands and using my knees to find the next good foot hold. Chaz and Ed could give me some
verbal description and instruction from their vantage points but a lot of this searching I had to do on my own. Chaz
and I had learned together by trial and error how to develop a technique for me to climb without sight. This was our
final exam and so far we seemed to be passing, as long as I could keep going up. I don’t have to see to know how
high up I am, I can sense it and am aware of the danger and the fear of the height and of falling. The fear of height
and of falling is not a visual thing, it’s a mental and physical thing and it rarely leaves my mind during the entire
climb. Sometimes it gets to the back of my thoughts but then sometimes it jumps up to the foreground and that’s
the tricky part, blocking it out and focusing on the climb. Meanwhile my muscles are screaming out at me to stop.
I remember
thinking that this is several times harder than any workout I’ve had in the gym. We had hiked a mile and a quarter
up the mountain just an hour earlier to get to the rock climbing area and that was quite a challenge in it’s own right.
It was very slow going for Chaz and I, since Chaz had to direct me on each step as they were mostly uneven stone and most
of them were very high up so that I had to balance myself on Chaz’s shoulder or arm. It took us an hour to complete
the hike and I had already been feeling some fatigue from that before even starting the actual rock climb. These past
two years of running and training for 5K races and spending extra time in the gym had definitely paid off because prior to
that I could have never handled this physical endurance test I was now facing. For some reason, now I’m
climbing with a new energy and determination. It seems easier in a way, as if the first fifty feet had been a warm up
for this last section. I’m suddenly more focused and intent on the climb and have no thoughts about the ropes,
harness or caribeeners, it’s all about the climb. I try some of the techniques that I had learned in the gym;
an arm-bar, then a leg bar, at one point I have to smear the wall with my feet. This is done by using the rubbery climbing
shoes to their full capacity by clinging to the smooth wall where there are no foot-holds and then push yourself up, “easier
said than done,” I remember thinking to myself, “Wow, I’m really getting this stuff, I’m really climbing,
it’s all coming together.” Chaz and Ed both yelled out words of encouragement. I asked them how much
further to the top and they yelled back, “About ten more feet and your’re topped out!” Before repelling down I took a deep breath and relished the moment. I yelled down that the
view is beautiful from up here. That got a laugh as I expected. Then I yelled, “I can’t see it with
my eyes but I see it with my ears and my senses. I feel the beauty with my soul”. I envisioned the beauty
of the tree tops down below and the thirty foot high waterfall we had passed by on the hike up to the base of the rock wall.
In my mind’s eye I had snap-shots of every scenic mountain setting I had seen before whether it was from real life or
from a painting when I had sight. I could imagine how wonderful it must look from this high up. I also thought
about my friends Chaz and Ed who had made this moment possible and (Gabe) George Gabrielle (my friend from Kennedy Space Center)
who has shown me the power of positive thinking and our mutual friend Bobby Cook who is confined to a wheelchair due to cerebral
palsy and whose picture I had carried with me up here so that we could both experience being higher than the tree tops together.
At this moment
I learned what it means to “top out”. It’s awesome. IOA
Corporate 5K By Randall Crosby Since I rely on my hearing during the race my ears are tuned like radar to all the sounds around me.
At the first mile mark I enjoyed the sound of the bagpipes from a group of musicians and then at the two-mile mark we approached
a rock & roll band and this kind of surprised me because I found myself temporarily deaf from the loud volume of the music.
This only lasted for about one minute as we passed by but I had to focus and force myself to relax and just place one foot
in front of the other and stay with Gabe since I had really lost my sense of direction and had no point of reference without
my hearing. A teacher/counselor of vision impaired once told me that “seeing is 180 degrees but hearing is 360
degrees”, in other words we must maximize the positive strength and minimize the negative weakness. This race was more like a contact sport for me since I bumped into
other runners and tangled feet a few times but it was a challenge and another learning experience. There were several
times when I let go of my end of the rope and wrapped my arm around Gabe’s shoulder and grabbed his arm with my other
hand to literally hang on for dear life as I grew increasingly aware of my chaotic surroundings. Gabe joked with me
days later that I was really holding on tight. Gabe had his own obstacle to overcome this time since he was in his seventh week of a total of what will be
eight weeks of radiation treatment for prostrate cancer which was diagnosed last December. He’s been doing great
throughout this and is actually physically and mentally stronger than ever as he is determined to get through it all and put
it behind him. He is turning this negative situation into a positive outcome to share with others as he always does.
We actually stopped by the clinic on the way to this race so that he could receive his daily treatment of radiation and then
we went on to run the 5K. Getting zapped with radiation is not the ordinary pre-race warm-up but Gabe says he feels
fine and is doing well. The camaraderie of being part of the KSC team
was fun and it made for some good memories, so we’ll look forward to next year. I’ll be the guy wearing
the full body armor. KSC Team results: Both
our men’s and women’s team placed 5th in the category of Government Employees Group: Men's Team Geoff Studds = 22:48 Ted Moore = 23:28 Steve Maldony = 25:23 Bill Piastuch
= 26:33 Justin Junod = 29:30 Women's Team Melanie Carlson = 30:45 Christine Solga = 33:00 Stepping
Out on Faith (SWOF 8K Race) By Randall Crosby I
just ran the Space Walk of Fame (SWOF) 8K race this morning (April 12, 2008) and am pleased that I feel pretty good, not too
tired or sore (at least not yet). The extra running & training is paying off. I’m sure that experience
also helps since this was my ninth event (the others were 5K’s). This time I was not able to run with my friend
George (Gabe) Gabrielle since he was out of town so I ran with one of my new running partners, Angela McFall. People
sometimes tell Gabe that it’s great that he runs with me as my sighted guide since I’m blind and Gabe always says
jokingly that he’s just the guy who holds the other end of the two foot rope and that Randall is doing all the work,
but that’s his humble way and is always quick to encourage others and not take any credit for himself. I have
found that Angie has these same qualities. It’s been fun to face these new challenges of running these races but
I find that it’s even more fun with a partner who has the same goal in mind. In my short 2 years of running as a blind runner with a sighted guide I’ve learned that a good
partner is critical. I have to trust them a lot with my own personal safety but I’ve also learned that the more
relaxed and trusting that I am the more relaxed and alert they are so it’s definitely a team effort. This was my first time to run an 8K, until now I had only run the 5K distance so I was not totally
certain about finishing or at least finishing gracefully and with everything in tact. I spent the first mile as
usual, doing a mental inventory of how I feel. My feet and legs felt fair, they’re always kind of stiff at first.
My breathing was better than ever as I remembered Gabe’s instructions to breathe in and out very deep and slowly and
to take long strides and above all to relax, it took me a few races to learn to relax probably due to not seeing the ground
I’m running on or anything else for that matter. Someone recently told me that every step I take is a step of
faith, I hadn’t thought of it like that until he told me that. I noticed that I’m more comfortable with
the crowd at the starting line, hearing the footsteps of the other runners all around me. During the start of my two or three
races I was very intimidated and frightend by the sounds and worried about tripping and falling with another runner but now
I felt like I was in a rhythm with the other runners and felt a lot more confident. This all comes from experience and
repetition, something I’ve grown to appreciate when learning to do any task as a blind person. Suddenly I hear
the little footsteps of a child and Angie says it’s a young girl about 6 years or so she’s swerving a lot and
I could already sense this from the erratic sound of her little steps so we carefully maneuvered around her and passed her
without incident. It’s just part of the adventure. I then used the remainder of the first mile to say a short
prayer to God to keep us both safe and to give us strength to finish the race. That always helps. At the two mile mark Angie joked that we should stop at the Howard Johnson for a cup of coffee, I
agreed. Of course we didn’t stop and even passed up some of the water stations and we maintained a steady pace
and were breathing fairly comfortably all the way to the finish line. In the days prior to the race I kept visualizing
the 3-mile mark since that’s the longest distance I’ve run so far. I tried to block it out of my mind so
it wouldn’t be an issue during the race but it kept popping up in my mind. I was warned before the race that there
were a lot of rough spots along the course, pot-holes, dips, etc. because it’s an old street that winds along the Indian
River in Titusville and I found it to be true. I think I found every dip and bump with my feet in the road for the entire
5 miles but we kept going, one foot in front of the other. When we arrived at the 3 mile mark at about 29 minutes I
was confident we would finish with a good time since we were only about a minute slower than my best 5K time. We maintained
a 10 minute average per mile (our final time was 49:52). I had
been encouraging another runner along the way since we were alternately passing each other at different intervals throughout
the race so at about the 4-mile mark I was a few paces ahead of him and I looked over my right shoulder to gesture with my
hand and to say for him to come on, only 1 mile to go. Just as I made that gesture my right foot found a pretty large
bump and I suddenly was going down. The rope held between Angie and myself was now vertical instead of horizontal.
Angie was pulling up very hard as I was going down and she kind of screamed. I caught my balance at the last minute
so I didn’t actually fall. I could sense that Angie was concerned and even maybe upset with herself (even though
it was my own fault for being over-zealous and careless) for this near fall but I assured her that if I do actually fall and
even get scratched and bleed then I’ll just get up and shake it off and keep running. It’s all just part
of the race and part of life, when we fall we just get back up and try again. Angie is my fifth sighted running partner that I have teamed up with in a race event but this all started
with a combination of my great trust in my original running partner and friend Gabe and the safe environment of my first ever
5K two years ago at the Shuttle Landing Strip at the Kennedy Space Center which I knew would be a perfectly flat and straight
surface. I joke with people that I won’t ever trip on a pot-hole or a dip on that surface, it’s probably
the most well maintained surface in the world. It was then that I gained the confidence to pursue running other 5K races
on other more challenging surfaces and with other partners without fear or at least without hesitation, the fear is normal
and a part of life but it’s a matter of recognizing it and then overcoming it that is the key I suppose otherwise we’ll
remain frozen in the same place in life. The more I run with different sighted partners the more I have learned to trust
them and gain more confidence and I find that this transfers over to other areas in my life. But I’ve also learned
that they have to trust me as well and have confidence that I’ll keep us both safe from falls so it’s a true partnership.
Running side by side for several miles is a true test of teamwork and friendship. I have noticed that I have grown closer
to or bonded with each of my sighted running partners after our experience of running together in an event. I think
my sighted partner has a feeling of accomplishment after helping me to complete a race and they even learn some new things
about themselves as well as some things about my world of blindness. I know that I in turn learn something from every
event. As I was writing this and reflecting on today’s race
it occurred to me that it would be neat if there was a 5K race in which runners teamed up with a partner who was blind-folded
and ran with a rope between them and then they could switch the blind-fold at the halfway mark. Maybe we could even
have an event for our leaders of governments of countries to do the same… maybe a step toward world peace. |
“On belay”, I called out to Chaz. “Belay on”, he replied. 
Still I was having doubts as I thought about how I had learned to trust the system of ropes, harnesses and caribeeners in
the gym. “Trust the system”, I told myself, “you know it works”. “Yes but the gym
has a big soft mat on the floor, there’s nothing but bedrock down there now”, I thought. 
Now Ed is only about five feet above me so I make a few more moves and reach him. I grab his hand and give him a high
five and join him on the ledge. “Glad to see you”, I say. He laughs and we chill for a while.
I find that the ledge is big and it’s like a safe refuge so now it’s almost like starting on a new climb and it’s
difficult to leave the safety and comfort of the ledge. Just getting started is the hardest part. I leave Ed on
the ledge and continue on, forty more feet and “I’m there”, I think to myself. 
I ran the Corporate 5K in Orlando last Thursday, April 24, 2008. Gabe & I signed up with the Kennedy Space Center
team for this event. There were about twelve runners on the team (that’s not an exact or confirmed number, just
an estimate). Gabe & I enjoyed supporting the KSC team and our team captain in her 4th term, Marie Quiaoit-Bell.
The crowded field of 10,600 runners made it difficult and even impossible for Gabe & I to set and maintain a fast or steady
pace so we changed our goal to just finishing the race without incident. We had several near misses as we weaved between
faster runners and slower walkers on both sides. Since we run side by side with a short rope it added to the challenge
for Gabe to keep us both safe. But we finished with a time of 33:10, a few minutes slower than our PR. (see team
results below) At left, Gabe Gabriel, in black, stands next to running partner Randall Crosby.